Desperation or Courage?

Everyone is probably familiar with Thoreau’s quote about most men leading lives of quiet desperation. I think he was wrong. While this may be true for many, for every person living that way I believe there are more living lives of quiet courage and hope. I believe that because I know many of these people. That’s the choice they make and they’re inspiring.

It's been on my mind because I overdid a bit, trying to rush my recovery and have been kind of out of it the past couple of days. I am not a good invalid; I get incredibly frustrated when my body doesn’t cooperate with what I want to get done and sometimes try to force myself to be well, mind over matter and all that.

I have been fortunate that I really haven’t had to spend much of my life living with a serious illness. I’ve been sick, of course, broken bones and had back issues that put me out of commission for a while, but I have always been able to return to normal. I’ve been thinking a lot about those who don’t, especially after seeing the following post on FB by someone I knew years ago and recently got back in touch with. Here’s the post, you’ve probably seen it already:

It's hard to explain to someone who has no clue. It's a daily struggle being in pain or feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. Please put this as your status for at least 1 hour if you or someone you know has an invisible illness (PTSD, Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, Diabetes, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, MS, ME, Arthritis, Cancer, Heart Disease, Epilepsy, Autism,M.D. etc.)

I have family members and friends who deal with Fibromyalgia, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Lupus, MS, Crohns, chronic pain and pretty much all of the other illnesses listed above and more. They rarely if ever complain and no one would ever know that they or a member of their family are dealing with incredibly difficult and frequently debilitating issues. 

 

There are many others who may not be dealing with physical challenges but also quietly, courageously go about their lives, getting things done. I know men and women who get up and go to work, every day, to jobs they hate or are bored with, so that their families have food and shelter. They work so their children can take lessons, participate in sports and have the opportunities they themselves may not have had. They come home and spend time with their children and rarely let any dissatisfaction with their careers affect their family. I know parents who deal with a child who is disabled or chronically ill, who give, give and give and rarely allow discouragement into their lives. They are amazing.

One of my girlfriends was a single mother of five for a very long time. She chose to clean houses for other people so she could have the flexibility to be the kind of mother to her children she wanted to be. Four of them are all grown up now and great people, so she obviously did something right. There are people who react with disdain to her profession, making assumptions in ignorance. Although she is no longer single, she is still the one financially supporting her family. She is amazing.

One of my sisters has been a single mother for seventeen years, since her youngest was six months old, and has never received child support. She put herself through school, obtained a Bachelors and a Masters, and has worked incredibly hard to support her children, putting her own needs aside in order to be there for her girls. She is always exhausted, but unfailingly upbeat and positive. She is amazing.

I have a friend who grew up in Detroit, in a real ghetto. She wanted more than a welfare check and has faced discouragement and discrimination from her family, her neighbors and friends in her pursuit of an education. She is the first person in her family to actually graduate from high school. You would think her family would have been proud, but no. They think she’s crazy to pursue even higher education and tell her she’s uppity, trying to be white, and does she think she’s better than them? Yet she doesn’t stop. She works, goes to school and is raising a daughter to believe in herself. She is one of the most positive people I’ve ever known. She is amazing.

I have known people in the most desperate of circumstances, financial and physical, who quietly, courageously pursue their goals. They work, they try and regardless of how many times they are knocked down, simply pick themselves up again and find another way. 

There are so many more that live lives of quiet courage and hope in a million different ways. They move forward, regardless of the challenges they face, day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year. While there are undoubtedly those who live lives of quiet desperation, I prefer to focus on those who live lives of silent courage and hope. I believe in the power of the human spirit.