Curly hair and finally growing up ( or closer anyhow!).

I’m not sure if I’m having a mid-life crisis or just finally really getting to know and be comfortable with myself. I prefer to believe the latter and since I have no desire to leave my husband and children and find a 25 year old boy toy, I think I’m good. At any rate, that’s what I’m going with.  (Yes, there are recipes included later on!)

I guess I’m a late bloomer in many ways emotional and mental, I think it’s from growing up in a seriously dysfunctional family, at least that’s my excuse. It has certainly taken me long enough to grow up and be myself. My life and the way I approach everything quite a bit over the past several years.

This whole train of thought started this morning after I got out of the shower, ran a comb through my hair, squirted some leave in conditioner in my hands and worked it into the ends and left it to dry, something I do all the time. May seem like a non-issue, but it suddenly struck me how big a change from past grooming patterns this is for me. Even assuming I was all right with my curly hair when I was between the ages of one year old and five years old and that it went straight when I was about six, at puberty it became curly again and I have spent most of my life fighting my hair. The curly, straight, curly thing has happened to two of my three sisters as well. Only one of my four brothers has curly hair and while my mom’s hair is wavy, my dad’s is completely straight, so where it comes from, who knows? As an added genetic query, Jeff and I both have curly hair and neither of our children do. Go figure. At any rate, I have it and hated it for years.

Starting in 8^th grade, I would get up over an hour earlier every day before school to straighten my hair. When I look at all the time I wasted doing that now, it kind of makes me sick. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop with high school, even though I left it alone most of the time in college (I mean, when you’re at the beach most of the time, what’s the point? No one else was doing their hair either, so. . . ).

Once I started working I kept it straight almost all the time. If it was curly, it was pulled back tight. Somehow I felt like curly hair was unprofessional. Now looking back I think somehow I didn’t think I was good enough as I was, I had to pretend to be different. An internal view personified by my hair. The few times I left it curly there were always tons of compliments and envious comments, but I didn’t believe any of them. I spent a good chunk of my life longing for hair that stayed smooth, straight and shiny. The grass is always greener, as we all know. 

With the recent (voluntary) demise of my corporate career (I swear I am never going back!), I decided to leave my hair alone, on purpose and for good. So it has been curly for months now and yes, it's a little delayed in coming, but I have finally made peace with my hair. There are serious advantages to having curly hair, for example, who cares if it rains? It really doesn’t matter. It gets wet, it gets dry and it looks exactly the same. It’s been incredibly windy here the past few days and guess what? It doesn’t matter! The wind blows my hair around, I go inside and it still looks the same. I can’t count how many times during my “straight” phase that I walked through rain and snow with anything I could find held over my head, tried desperately to protect it from wind, whatever. No more and what a relief!

So as I mentioned, this change coincides with quite a few others relating to my emotional and mental development, so perhaps my feelings about my hair represent my life? Sometimes it's something simple and shallow that makes you think. 

I have realized for a while that I spent way too long trying to fit into the box that I somehow thought I was supposed to fit into. I was miserable and have spent several years trying to figure out why and what I wanted instead. It’s a process that started in my early 30’s and now about ten years later, I’m finally recognizing that I’m much more interesting (at least to me and that’s what I really care about) if I’m true to myself. At least I am certainly happier. I have no doubt that the process isn’t over yet. I hope not to stop learning and growing until I'm dead. So, maybe in future posts I’ll explore that evolution a bit more, we'll see.

Meanwhile, I’m getting ready to launch the new business I’ve been working on for the past few months, an online vintage and original art store, through the Etsy website. I'm going to try making a living doing what I love instead of what I think I should be doing. I am really excited about it as well as nervous and I hope it does well. For anyone who wants to check it out once it’s up, the name of the store is Vintage Life & Design. It will probably show up the end of this week or first part of the following week.

Now I'm jumping to Detroit a bit. Today I went down to Eastern Market, something a very good friend (Lisa I love you!) introduced me to about eight or nine years ago here in southeast Michigan, something I will be forever grateful to her for. I love the place and I love Detroit. It is such an awesome city and I hope and pray that those who are working so hard to bring it back have success. I am doing everything I can to help, right now that’s pretty much limited to shopping downtown whenever possible and tutoring women who don’t know how to read because I believe that education is the key to everything. 

During the time I spent working downtown in education I was appalled at the number of adults I came across, many with a high school diploma, who couldn’t read! It is horrifying and it has to stop. Only parents who read can teach and encourage their children to read and people who can't read have a nearly impossible time getting a job, much less starting a career. Ensuring across the board literacy will help to break the cycle of hopelessness and poverty that is causing so many problems in Detroit and elsewhere. It is something I’m incredibly passionate about and here’s my plug: If you believe it too, put your money (or your time) where your mouth is and spend a few hours a week volunteering, somehow, wherever you live.  People need to be able to read. It is essential. 

Ok, got a little sidetracked there. I came home by way of stopping to pick up a table from a fellow freecycle member (if you don’t know about freecycle, check it out - it’s recycling on another level and it's fabulous! Here’s the website:  www.freecycle.org ). I’m going to mosaic the top of the table – it’s actually a really cool 1970’s version - and haven’t decided if it’s one I’ll sell or keep – it’s the size I want to replace our kitchen table with, so. . . it may have a new home here at mi casa. 

This morning before I left I took a quick poll from my family, because, wonder of all wonders, we’re all home tonight for dinner! The question was, in the freezer I have left-over Mexican and left-over Indian stuff, what do you feel like eating tonight? Big decision! The verdict was Mexican, so I’m using the rest of the beans & rice left over from the tamales night, plus some cooked chicken and green chili enchilada sauce I have in the freezer. 

Tonight I’m doing chicken, onion & cheese enchiladas in green chili sauce, a more complex version of one of the few things my mom cooked when I was growing up (don’t get me wrong, I’m not dissing my mom – she’s great, but didn’t cook much and that’s ok, because unless you enjoy it, why spend the time? We were all fed, I promise!), along with the rice & beans, plus some veggies. 

Someone pointed out that I didn’t include the recipe for Mexican Rice & Beans last time I blogged recipes, so that’s here too. Rice & beans seem so basic I didn’t even think about it, but should have. This combo (enchilada's, rice & beans) is great served with fresh avocado, cucumber and tomato slices.

I will finish the writing part of this post with the hope that everyone has their own epiphany as far as finding out who they really are (hopefully earlier in their lives than I have!). Knowing what is important to you and not compromising is important, essential even. I really believe that if you don’t live your life true to who you really are and what you believe is right you die a little each day. So live your life and be true to yourself!

Mexican Rice & Beans**

About 2 or 3 cups prepared rice

1 or 2 cans of beans – black, red or pinto, based on preference

3 or 4 Tbsp. olive oil

¾ cup diced onion (if you want to use carmelized onions, use 1 full cup and carmelize them ahead of time)

4 or 5 cloves garlic

**1 ½ cups corn (either one can or cooked frozen or fresh) - optional

¼ cup flour

1 cup chicken broth or some type stock

1 tbsp chili powder

1 ½ tsp cumin

½ tsp cayenne (more if you like it spicier)

¼ tsp oregano, crumbled

Salt & Pepper to taste

Heat oil in large skillet (I am devoted to my cast iron skillets!). When hot add onion & garlic cloves. When onions are tender squish the garlic and mix in well, add spices. Add Corn if using it. Cook for a minute or so, add flour. Slowly add chicken broth, stirring or whisking to ensure no lumps.

Add rice & beans, heat thoroughly, serve.

**When I’m serving these as left-overs, I spread them in a 9”x9” pan, sprinkle them with shredded sharp cheddar and bake at 350° for 25 minutes or until the cheese is melted & bubbly.

Chicken, Onion & Cheese Green Chili Enchiladas

1 Pkg. Corn Tortillas**

2 cups cooked shredded chicken

1 cup finely chopped onion

1 can chopped green chili - optional

Salt & pepper

 1 ½ cups chicken broth

2 cups Green Chili Enchilada sauce (I make up a big batch a couple of times a year & put it in the freezer – if anyone wants the recipe let me know, from a can or a jar is fine)

1 can cream of chicken soup (no, not one of my normal ingredients but I keep it on hand for times when I need something quick, don’t have it on hand and don’t want to make it! Sometime I'll post my original recipe for creamy green chili enchilada sauce, but not now.)

¾ cup sour cream

about 2 1/2 cups sharp cheddar, grated

Mix Chicken, Onion, chopped green chili and ½ cup of the broth together in a bowl.

In separate bowl mix 1 cup broth, green enchilada sauce, soup and sour cream.

Fill each tortilla with about 2 - 3 Tbs. of the chicken mixture and a generous sprinkle of cheese, roll tightly and place in 9” x 13” pan.

Cover with sauce mixture and bake at 350° for about 25 minutes. Take out of oven briefly; sprinkle the remaining cheddar on top and put back in the oven for about ten minutes, or until cheese is melted and bubbly.

**If you wrap your tortillas in damp paper towels, then in plastic wrap and microwave for a minute at full power they will stay together while you fill and roll them. Otherwise corn tortillas fall apart really easily. Alternatively you can fry them in oil briefly, but I hate to add the extra fat and calories.